The Legacy Of TK Marg…

 

Tekandas Kataria Marg is one of the most happening streets I’ve encountered in Mumbai. Whether it’s break of day or nightfall it’s got a life of its own. Cultural harmony is omnipresent with people from various walks of life coming and going to earn a living for themselves. Everyone’s got their schedule on point right from the flower lady getting the garlands ready for the morning temple prayers to the food stalls that open up in the evening during the work hour rush. The routine in itself is fascinating to observe. The tiniest of details for example the dog cuddled up in front of a parked car –you’ll find it there in the very same spot every morning without fail. The street also depicts an atmosphere of animal and human harmony. It has some really old buildings like Dalmia Building – built in 1918 which will be replaced by new construction sooner or later. ‘Artifacts’ like the letter box that almost no one uses anymore still stand strong on the sidewalks beckoning for people to use them. Technology has left a lot of services like the postal paralyzed. But some things like restaurant delivery still happen on bicycles. The street vendor sleeping on the street shows how carefree her life must be having a sound sleep in spite of the loud environment, which just comes to show how the people of this city have learnt to accept their fate in this unending noise pollution. There are a couple of cows at both ends of the street next to two temples that people very reverently take blessings from. The road finally leads up to the Matunga flyover which connects the famous Matunga Road Station and has also a created a connection to many other places like Kurla, Sion, Dharavi etc. The station is bustling with people at peak hours showing the extent of urbanization. The street today has gotten its importance due to it being a connecting route to many prominent places like Hinduja Hospital, David Sassoon Children’s School and newly opened Big Bazaar. It’s filled with restaurants of different cuisines all to suit the taste and budget of the crowd. Unlike every other story that comes to an end, this one has none, because every day is a new beginning. People will live and die, but the legacy of Tekandas Kataria Marg will love on…

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A post not acceptable on the social web…

​That moment when I realised how fake the real world is and how genuine my school days were…I regret not cherishing them well enough but who had the time for that when the pressure of marks pushed you so low and the false promises of college life being all rainbows and sunshine kept you so hopeful for a brighter future…But the only thing that keeps you happy at the end of the day is quality human interaction that the real world lacks so much…

The Next Thing You Know (my go at poetry)

When you got no hope,

and there ain’t nowhere to go

but your mind’s so dope,

so you chose to let it go

the next thing you know,

 

yo mama’s in the show,

yo dada’s on the floor,

moving it slow-mo,

giving it up to the flow but wait,

the next thing you know,

 

yo homie’s in the house,

you’re sad to have them over

coz you’re as quiet as a mouse,

and your life’s just fucked you over

so the next thing you know

 

you choose to continue to the show,

for which, you recover the flow,

so the moral of the story

being, the next thing you know,

you reap just what you sow.

 

 

A love-hate relationship with my country…

DISCLAIMER: Before you go ahead and place your eyeballs on the second para, I’d like to let the reader know that if he/she is one of those Indians who cannot handle criticism and is easily offended by the bitter truth and facts, then please stop right here and do NOT go ahead with the article. I just don’t wanna die 🙂

I’m assuming that if you’re reading this line you’ve agreed to the above disclaimer, also assuming that you are one hell of a rational thinker, unbiased and not too sensitive towards criticism of the facts and truths of life, especially the ‘Indian’ life. Here we go…

Sitting for a Cultural Studies lecture the other day, our professor decided to take up the topic of ‘orientalism’. He went on to discuss how the cultures of the what he called ‘hegemonic’ American society was taking over ours. He went on to state that the US mocks the prevailing concept of caste in our country, yet overlooks its own culture of discrimination on color. He then went on to play an audio of a journalist (I don’t really remember whether he was British or Indian settled in India, but he had a British accent) who sarcastically praised the ‘anarchy’ of the Indian system. Sarcastically listing down some of the flaws in the Indian system, that every Indian encounters in his/her daily routine. But the highlight of his talk was that we Indians accept that we have a highly flawed system yet we choose to ‘adapt’ to it instead of correcting it, all in the name of one big word – freedom. After listening to him, I took a minute to think about it all. I heard the response of some of my classmates and realised that they all actually, ridiculously supported the fact that it’s good to have the quality of ‘adaptability’. But wait, how are we all overlooking the part that every flaw that we are adapting to is still a continuing flaw! It made me realise what top-notch hypocrites each and every one around me, including me is.

We as citizens of a nation rich in ‘culture’, sit on our comfy couches, criticise the government, have the audacity to criticise ‘bribes’, criticise the public officials, criticise the entire society, and drag this audacity to the extent of criticising OTHER countries and their systems? Considering the matter that our professor brought up regarding America overlooking the discrimination on color yet, mocking our culture of the still-prevailing caste system, well of course US has the advantage to mock our culture because we Indians go around blowing our trumpets loud and clear about preserving our so called ‘prestigious’ culture without thinking twice what it even consists of! Every country has a USP that they bank on, none go advertising about something they know is a universal disgrace. But here we have India. ‘Mera bharat mahaan’, who goes around promoting equality and peace when internally itself we have the world’s biggest menace – caste! Now what you may be thinking is, “ok Keith we get it, we have a problem of caste, but that’s it! Every other aspect of the Indian culture is praiseworthy”. Well to that thought, lets now broaden the term culture to the term ‘system’. Let’s analyse some daily tit-bits that every Indian claims to just ‘go with the flow’– the ‘Indian system’ .

A simple example of the traffic signal. If you’re an Indian reading this, the words ‘traffic signal’ might have already brought a smile on your face. But wipe that smug smile off your face right now! Every day I walk from my home to the railway station to commute to college. I have to cross just one junction on the way, a junction that has something called a signal. As soon as the signal turns red for the vehicles, the vehicles continue to pass. Ok, maybe these lunatics are just color blind. That’s perfectly fine, but wait, we now have enslaved traffic cops put in a place where there are working signals, to control a herd of lunatic, color blind drivers and riders. But apparently we Indians have something called ‘ego’ issues that we’d like to exhibit in public and also to the law, so we jump the ‘stop’ gesture of the cop too! If we Indians cannot abide by 3 simple colors to keep safety and harmony, how do you expect any sort of harmony in our lives? What culture is this? There is one culture that’s taught to us by our immediate surroundings (our family) and the other that we learn from the rest of the world. The culture of breaking signals will reign forever as long as we have egoistic, lunatic, color-blind drivers and riders taking over the roads today. The examples can go on and on, regarding train timings, ‘time’ on the whole in India, offense towards slang, etc.
Another ridiculous idea that a classmate of mine brought up was regarding the concept of zebra crossings. He said that its funny and stupid that in countries abroad, people do not cross the road if they don’t see zebra crossings. I felt like standing up and laughing so hard at this statement. The whole point of a zebra crossing is that pedestrians can cross roads safely without having to think twice. Zebra crossings are not placed anywhere and everywhere. They are strategically placed either before road bumpers or signals so that vehicles slow down giving you peace of mind to cross. Just because our government places zebra crossings like its placing diamonds on the roads (placing them so rarely, even if placed they are hardly visible) doesn’t mean you criticise the concept of zebra crossings.

Agreed that we possess the freedom that some citizens of other countries possess not even 1/10th of what we do. But coming to think of it, is this freedom even worth it? Are we rolling in the freedom to be the hypocrites that we are? What frustrates me is not the flaws of this country but the balls and the audacity us Indians have to criticise other nations and their cultures, when ours is 10 times worse. Instead of educating us to change our country we are being shaped to think wrong of other countries. If this is what the education system is designed to do – shape our minds to build up on our already existing ego, all I see is our country’s progress going down the drains – the also, extremely sad drainage system that we possess.

Peace Out! 😀

 

 

14 (A Short Story)

“Will I ever have a valentine?”, Carl thought to himself while forcefully reading his best friend–Morris’s chats with his girlfriend regarding their plans for 14th Feb. It was just a week away and everyone around him was preparing for the ‘big day’. Morris was his closest buddy in school, and the fact that Morris not being a nerd in his stream, yet having a girlfriend (his 3rd one to be precise), made Carl highly envious of him. But Carl wasn’t going to be like his buddy, breaking up every second year – having another girl beside him. He aimed to be the loyal kind. The one when, in a relationship, would stick with his girl till the end of his days, someone whose eyes he would look into on his death bed and for those few brief moments of life recollect his long romantic relationship right from this year.

It’s not like Carl never had a crush or something. Of course he had one. In fact, a huge crush, that his entire friend circle despised and urged him over and over to forget. But here he was, aiming to be a dedicated partner. Karen, his girl, was on the other hand, a complete opposite. She aimed to be highly independent but just one of those chicks who loved to mess around, with a crusher’s worst nightmare – mixed signals. As 14th Feb came closer, his dreams went further. His hopes went higher, as they did for the past 4 years, every year. And he began with his planning. Since 14th was a week day, and his mom would by no means allow him to leave the house on a weekday, also, ignoring the fact that it was a weekday, and just considering that it was St. Valentine’s Day, he would not be able to be the saint of the day and sneak out without his mom assuming it was a 14th Feb plan. She knew all about him and Karen, that there was for an investigative mom to know. He then had to devise another plan for his one and only love. What was there to lose? Everything. His four-year long struggle to get the love of his life would be flushed down the drain in a matter of seconds.

On the eve of 14th Feb, he decided to pose the big question before her. Since a voice call wasn’t going to make it through with his mother at home, he’d have to make the best of an SMS. He took the phone in his sweaty palms, opened the chat, hovered his thumbs over the on-screen keyboard. All of a sudden his fingers refused to recollect how to type. All he wanted to type was a “Will you be my valentine?”, and that just wouldn’t go down. “How’s it so easy for Morris? Must be because he’s had had to type it so many times that his fingers had just mapped the letters by heart.” “(Valentine’s day) it’s all a game. All you gotta do is learn to play it right.”, is what he always told me a day before proposing a girl.” But to Carl this was no game. Karen was no character in this supposed game either. He couldn’t take a topic this serious to be a mere game. Just before he touched W, a knock on the door of his room gave him a mini heart attack.

“Mom, what is it?”

“Dinner’s almost ready for my studious bachha.”

Mom, I told you a million times, don’t call me that”, he replied blushing red. “I’ll be at the table in 5 minutes, just a bit of the last chapter left.”

“Okay, make it quick.”

With that, he got back to his screen, and finally typed it out. “Will you be my valentine?”. The message got sent, within 10 seconds – delivered. All he had to do now was sit back and relax. But relax was nowhere in the dictionary. What was the meaning of relax at this moment? Coaching classes for the heart to prep itself for a grand acceptance begun. “Her most probable answer will be Yes, why not? And you gotta stay calm. Don’t you dare say something in excitement or you’re dead meat”, and before the next expert advice could have come, a notification popped up on his screen. ‘Karen has messaged you’. His heart ran even faster, faster than it ever could. Thinking of all the time he’s ever spent on her, now was the time to know if it all was ever worth it. Were the sleepless nights he spent on keeping her company even when she had a million other friends at an arm’s reach, going to go to waste? Was all the trust his mother lost in him because of her, going to go in vain? Were his friends’ advices on leaving her, all going to turn out to be right? The only way he would find out was by clicking on that notification that read ‘Karen has messaged you’. He took his laptop, sat on the windowsill, so tempted to open the message but before he could open it he wanted to embrace his future in the grandest way. He imagined her sending her grand acceptance. What and how would he reply to her then? Where would he even take her? What’s the best restaurant in the area? Also a small budget had to be kept in mind. Having a grand date would set high expectations from her once they’d be in a relationship. What if she found the small-budgeted date real cute and then expected a big-budgeted one? Maybe she’s the humble kind. “The place wouldn’t matter to me, it’s the time that I spent with him is what would matter the most”, is what she once told him while they strolled along the corniche. So a fancy place wouldn’t come in the list. “Yay to me! And yay to my pocket!” He imagined her sitting in front of him on a table for two at a mediocre restaurant– a pizza joint since she loved pizza– looking into each other’s eyes, taking a slice of pizza and sharing each bite and and smiling at each other. After a perfect night at the restaurant he’d drop her under her building, wait out till the lift doors closed and until he’d see the last of her gorgeous face and then leave to come back to his mom – “MOM!”

“How on earth am I supposed to leave the bloody house with mom at home?” He thought for a moment and then came up with this genius idea of a ‘virtual date’. What if they had the date on WhatsApp? What if he took her on a virtual date on WhatsApp where he could represent most of the elements of the date with imojis. That wasn’t such a bad idea after all. “I’ll have to pitch this date to her like I’m Steve Jobs pitching my idea to IBM”. He then went on to WhatsApp, into the emoji keyboard and began shortlisting a list of suitable emojis for this grand virtual date. “The heart ones are a must, and then oh! The heart box with a ribbon! Then for the main part, wine and fries! Yes, fries…she loves fries…just like she loves me.”, he thought even deeply. For dessert it would be chocolate ice cream from Baskin Robbins with the tiny ice cream cone emoji. He then went on to plan some quirky lines to ‘sent the mood in’. Since this was going to be a midnight date, to romanticize marginally higher he also added the element of stars in the sky and the corresponding emojis. “Let’s lie down next to each other and gaze into the starry sky”, he imagined telling her.

And once the night ended he would ask her out on another date, a ‘real date’ this time, ’cause surely she would have loved this one. From then on, they’d go on multiple dates. Until one day when he’d propose her, get the ring for her, down on one knee, and she’d say YES! overjoyed by his efforts. He’d actually introduce her to his mom in person and she’s introduce him to her dad. Dad…the word “dad” gave him the chills. The multiple calls he had hung up on her dad picking up the call were ridiculous.

“Hallo.”

“Who’s this?”, a stern police-like voice would reply.

“Hallo uncle, I’m Carl.”

“Carl who?”

And BAAM! He would slam the end call button before her dad would even think of giving the phone to Karen. But Carl wasn’t going to give up that easily. He knew that to conquer a girl’s dad’s heart, he would first have to conquer her’s. And that’s exactly what he planned on doing tonight. He was going conquer her heart, mind and soul. Be the only guy to ever make her feel so special. He was going to give this moment his all. There was nothing he wanted to keep back. They knew each other better than anyone they knew, so much that Carl could predict what she’d reply to almost anything he said and this time he predicted a “Yes, why not?”

It was about time, 2 minutes had passed since she replied and the notification ‘Karen has messaged you’ still pending on his laptop screen. He quickly switched his laptop with his phone, came back on the windowsill, where the air was light and cool – just enough for the grand acceptance. He unlocks the phone, his fingers once again giving up to inch one bit. He forces the courage into his system, gathers the balls to check the preview. First thing that appears on the screen is her name and then the message saying:

Karen D’mello

Hey, really sorry, I’m spending tomorrow with someone already…

 

The phone fell 14 inches onto the mattress under windowsill and Carl, 14 floors from the windowsill onto the pavement.

 

 

Aristotle’s Golden Mean – the working solution to life…

Aristotle’s Golden Mean is the midpoint (or the desirable) between two extremes – one of excess and one of deficiency. Most of us live life to the extreme. But as the doc says – do everything in moderation and not extreme. Have fun, but in moderation, work, but in moderation, love, but in moderation,  hate, but in…no wait, don’t hate!

I learnt the concept of moderation the hard way. The way that broke me from within, making me so cold hearted – blinded by the concept of logic > emotions, when in fact, logic and emotions are equally required to live a emotionally and logically happy life. I failed to recognize the joys of living an emotional, sometimes a little less logical life. I forgot the meaning of true fun. I longed for a hearty laugh. I was so caught up with work, work and work, that work became an excuse to stay away from  fun and from family and friends. I began prioritizing stuff so much that I forgot that sometimes people could not be prioritized. Solitary confinement after college hours was so satisfying. It was like I needed no human interaction whatsoever to fulfill my social needs. But how long could I let this go on? How long could I let this happen in the name of ‘logic > emotions‘ work out for me? I was just 18 and I wasn’t even living my life, I was surviving. Survival is something grown-ups do. Its something you do when you have nothing and no one  left but yourself. I had so many friends but I kept the barrier. The barrier that didn’t let any friend become a close friend. But who was I kidding? I obviously needed someone close. Was it my roommate? Was it her (my girlfriend)? Was it some other special people who were ever ready to help? Who was it? There are so many more people I can list out who, when I come to think of it, have helped me a great deal – something only a best friend would do. Eventually it hit me that a few special people were in fact my best friends. If not, they wouldn’t go out of their way to help me. Especially one, lil nutty and annoying guy :P, but he’s probably the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

Moving on, the feeling of insecurity that I constantly buried with piles of logical sh*t, finally came out. But this time I had to face it. My greatest insecurity is of losing her. To what? or whom? That’s a different question altogether. But then again, I had to let go of this insecurity because it went to the extreme and it got annoying for me more than her.

And then came the extremity  of my views on religion. I wandered off on a path so far away where in I started questioning if God was bad. Its true that God gave us the power of reasoning and it was for a reason too. The element of curiosity is what has lead our world to be so developed – to explore new possibilities every second. But there’s a golden mean to reasoning and questioning too. I realized that I was question God, with no base. Like I knew the entire Bible by heart, like even if I knew it, did I understand it? I also realized that this whole episode of questioning God was taking me nowhere and instead getting me into more depression because I was getting no answers either. I then decided to go back to who I was – the person who followed God fervently like any other regular happy human being.

There’s a lot more that has changed and I believe its all for the best. But the point now is that I am happy. That’s what was missing – happiness and to finally find it is probably the best feeling in the world, along with spending time with her of course 😉

Have a nice day! 😀

 

What if God = Good + Evil?

The title is just a thought. A thought that has been bothering me for quite a long time now. Do not for a second think that I am writing this as an atheist. God has given us the power of reasoning and I see it just to use that power to reason anything and everything. If questioning God is offensive then I don’t consider the freedom of choice that has been granted to us – real freedom.

When I began pondering on this thought, I wondered, “am I too crazy to think of such an atrocious possibility?”. Then eventually I began asking people what they thought about it. 90% of the reactions made me question my existence. They gave me the “are-you-alright?” face. Many people think that these thoughts have come up either because I’ve got something against God or that something really tragic has happened in my life and I’ve turned atheist. These reasons were too cliché for me. I just love to think and reason out things logically and see no crime in that. [Oh! And before I go forth with my thoughts and opinions I just want to tell my readers to not go further if they are too sentimental for religious reasoning because I don’t want you to barge up to my doorstep and kill me, to be blunt (P.S. I live in India where freedom of speech is mere words)]

Now, coming back to the point, why did such a question arise in my mind in the first place? The society from time immemorial has been conditioned to believe that God is good all the time (there’s even a hymn in the Catholic church with the exact words) and anything bad that happens is our fault. Poor karma takes the blame for anything bad that happens. When God created us, he created us in his image. Under the disguise of choice, he allowed sin. Putting this into an equation,

Humans = Good + Evil

God = Good +  Evil  Divinity

implies that God gave himself no other choice but to be good. Would you rather prefer the privilege of choice and commit sins, extending to mortal sins, than no choice and remain good without sins and deaths? When we ask God for a petition, do we give him a choice of either doing it or not? No, we assume that he’d obviously only do the right thing because God has portrayed himself never to have evil as a choice. The question that now arises in our minds is why has God done this? It’s all because of God’s strategic plan. If God wished, with the blink of an eye, could have wiped away sin from the world. But if he did that, there would be no sin and no sin would mean no one would face any kind of suffering and no suffering would mean no more prayers and no more prayers would imply God getting forgotten and of course, who wants to be a loner?  This would make God really narcissistic, an attention seeker. But who would even dream of associating such terms with someone like God? But that is what I want my readers to think. To ponder on socially unthinkable ideas. Because anything is possible. There is no definite answer to God’s existence and till that answer arrives, we can continue to have such vague and unique and possible assumptions.

 

Have a great day 😀

 

 

I Lived…

Wondering, “whats with the vague title?” ?. Scroll down my blog and it’ll all start to make sense.

2015! Probably the best year yet. This year was filled with the most stressful to the happiest moments- for which I’d give anything to relive. This year taught me life lessons as well as gave me ample time for self introspection. So here I am, listing down the various events this year that changed my mind and my heart to a great extent.

As the year began, mom was still looking out for a decent job. Dad was on the verge of losing his current job and there I was in between, figuring out my life – my not so great ‘love’ life (YES, I wouldn’t let go of her) and my career ahead. All the while I lived in UAE I was pretty sure of studying there. I had already created the rosiest picture of college life that I’d lead in a few months time. I imagined being in UAE and dating the love of my life. But as days passed and our financial condition kept getting increasingly uncertain by the day, I was forced to abandon my dreams and start anew. I was forced to think about India, something I never imagined I’d do. And so I began the great hunt for universities. That was one hell of a process that I have no idea how I got through. It was decided. I was to leave for India for a ‘bright future’.

I told myself everyday, “It couldn’t be that bad to leave UAE for India”. But just a month before I left, the person I loved all along begins to like me. Not love, like me. But that still meant a great deal and that crushed my heart before I left.

This kept me sad for a long time until I got my academic results. I was overjoyed and to see the smile on mom’s face was priceless. Thats when everything began to fall in place. I got an offer from two universities and I chose one. It was a tough decision but I made it and I feel no regrets whatsoever. I still missed ‘her’.  As time passed though the feelings faded away. Once college began, the feelings were almost nil, until I went back for vacations and got my heart tangled again.

The first semester of college wasn’t that great since it started off with people misunderstanding me having a thing for someone I didn’t have the slightest thing. Made me feel like making a good girl friend would be close to impossible. Almost made me go into depression until I decided to widen my avenues of friendship.

My entire vacations were spent hanging out with my first crush. Made me fall in love with her again, leaving me in tears the day left, thinking about the moments we spent together. But the moment I stepped foot on Indian soil I decided to change. I had gone past the limit long back but it still wasn’t too late. I had to move on and so I did. It wasn’t an easy task but the illusions to my heart worked!

As second semester began, I began liking a girl in my class. A sweet girl with whom spending time was a joy. Spending time was timeless. Smiling at her like an idiot every time she made a face. Smiling to myself just at the thought of her. I wont say this was love. Love is a big word. This is a happiness that you don’t want to let go of. That you want to give it a chance to mix with love. It may take days, weeks, months or even years, but it seems worth it because every moment that I spend with her seems worth it and not a waste of precious time. I’m the worst when it comes to hiding my feelings and keeping them suppressed. Hiding sorrow is easier than hiding my feelings for someone. She read my eyes from the very beginning and understood me that very moment. Yet she hasn’t let stuff get into the way of our friendship and thats what makes me happier. Nothing has changed and I hope it never does, because finding friends like her is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Thanks to my fate I never had to look for friends. Making friends was something I never faced an issue with. Probably my biggest strength.

What were the life lessons? Go with the flow of life, don’t run after love because you’ll get everything but that. Whatever happens, happens for the freaking best! And just when you feel that everything is going downhill, turn back and run  uphill, fight your way through because if everything is going downhill its making the hill of life’s problems smaller and clearing a brighter top  for you and oh how bad you want to be there don’t you?

So this New Years’s eve at 23:59 all I’m going to do is take deep breath and a tiny jump into 2016, hoping for a happy year ahead. As simple as that.

 

Happy New Year everyone 😀

What if religious history was rewritten…

Note : This article is by no means against any religious beliefs. I have written this from my own perspective.

“It doesn’t matter how religious you are, logic is something that defies all religious laws”
– Logical Me

When God created the world, he made man ‘in his image’. He gave man ‘wisdom’. It all sounds really amazing without the apostrophes. Now, the apostrophes make you think. Think of what?

God made us the most intelligent creatures on this planet. The most intellectual. The most balanced creatures. But, there was a catch to all these free privileges i.e. incomplete wisdom. If God gave us the complete 100% wisdom, we would have all been good – all perfect with no flaws, because apparently we are all like God. Then why are we not?

Imagine a world where everyone was good. Evil never existed. There’d be no suffering. No suffering implying no need for help. No need for help implying no prayers. No prayers implying no God. Why do we have a forgiving God? Why does forgiveness even exist? If God wished he could, with a snap of his finger eradicate evil from the world but he did not do that. Why? He’d then be non existent to us. After all who likes to be a loner?

Now let me take you into a whole new kind of hypothetical situation. What if Jesus never died? Accepted God sent Jesus, his only son to die for our sins. But have we really repented? Who is he going to send next? Why won’t judgement day ever happen? What’s God waiting for? More sacrifices, more innocent children, babies, brainwashed teens and young adults laying down their lives in the name of sacrifice and God is a so called forgiving and merciful God? Coming back to Jesus, if he never died and the people accepted him, Christianity would never exist. At the same time speaking for God, it doesn’t really matter if Christianity exists or no because all God wanted when he created Adam and Eve was that humans be good and ‘obedient’ people. Why did he even put an apple tree when he did not want them to touch it? But as time passed on humans began creating their own beliefs and how do we know which one to believe? The most logical solution is not to believe in any. Believe in yourself.

Religion is a topic forever debatable, until the day God himself comes down to me to explain this mystery. God, I hope you’re reading this…

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